25 May, 2012

Thanks Susannah

I love getting parcels. Doesn't really matter if it's one I sent myself either. When a parcel arrives its like Christmas when you were a child (except you know what it is and how good it will be!)

Last week I received a book parcel. I had ordered Susannah Conway's first book 'This I know - notes on unraveling the heart'. While its a book that details how Susannah has lived through grief and self awareness after the death of a loved one, it is also a book that reflects on how grief touches all of us whether it be death, loss or divorce; and reflects on why, how and when our heart begins to heal, and what Susannah did and felt to unravel her heart.

I fell in love with Susannah's blog last year. She speaks candidly and honestly about a great many subjects and thoughts people tend to gloss over in their grief and get glossed over by 'supportive' people who think there are things you just shouldn't talk about at the time (or ever, really).

I really needed this book, it's just that I didn't know how much I needed it. I have felt for a while that I was becoming bitter about the end of my marriage, even though I did the smartest and safest thing I could do for myself and for my son by getting out.

While I have only read half of Susannah's book since it arrived (uni is gearing up for exams) it has really spoken to me. I have realized that what I thought was bitterness, was actually my grief for the end of my marriage trying to get out, trying to surface so I could deal with it. I realised that I hadn't really acknowledged my grief and that I really needed to look into my heart.

So that's what I am going to do. Read this beautiful book, look into my heart and feel what I need to feel.
Thanks Susannah, thank you from my heart.

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