A few months back, when I'm sure I was supposed to be doing something other than trawling the Internet, I happened upon a blog/e-shop/meeting-place called
Kind Over Matter.
Its run by a great gal called Amanda who shares her life, perspective and global family with the world through kindness, inspiration and love. I get the email updates every few days and love to see what's been happening in her world and that of her contributors.
Today's blog post caught me. Wide eyed, deer in the head lights kind of caught.
Its a post by a woman named Shelly who has let the world know that she is a
survivor, not a victim.
While my story of past abuse is no where near the violence that Shelly encountered, its the same emotional, mental and fear-based campaign that I identify with. Its the descriptions she gives of having people turn on her when she spoke up. Of people not believing her, the person that hurts; rather looking at the 'perfect couple' image projected out in public.
It's kind of ironic, because in the last two weeks I've been talking to some newer people in my life journey who got the 'Cliff-notes' version of my past, and I had to define myself. I'm not into the idea of describing myself as a victim. I really don't like that word. But to describe myself as a survivor...I'm not sure how I feel about that. Its not that I don't acknowledge that, its just that in the grand scheme of things I never had to explain away bruises, scrapes and bumps. My scars are internal, some etched over my heart, some on my psyche, and some in more intimate places.
But it is what we are, survivors. We were able to walk away. No matter how painful it was, because ultimately we do believe in the hope that a person's actions will change. To be able to on that day, that clarifying day, that the circumstances will not change, that you do indeed value yourself. That my friends, is what makes a survivor.
photo credit:
Dimit®i via
photopin cc
